Just hicupped while taking a drink and started choking.  Woke up my entire family. Luckily.  I couldn't catch a breath and couldn't stop choking so I was taking myself off to get help when mum met me on the landing and thumped me.  Yay, I breathe again!!!

Take a pack of jam donuts and a can of squirty cream. 
Jab the nozzle into the donut's jam hole. 
Squirt. 
Enjoy delicious cream filled donuts!!!!

It would appear that while applying sunscreen this morning I didn't get the angle right and the natural 'shadow' cast by my butt meant that that area didn't get any sunscreen... oops!!!  I have the arse of a baboon!!!! 

I am also wearing a dress that really doesn't deserve the name.  It is completely and utterly see-through, I am only a thread away from public indecency but it is so light I can't tell I'm wearing it and it's so cool so my family are just going to have to live with it!!!

I also forgot to wear a hat today to I'm not feeling great.  I lay out in the sun all afternoon.  It was so nice and relaxing just shutting my eyes and listening to the TW radio play and having to do nothing but lie there and bask with just a bit of a breeze to cool things down.  Bliss!!!

I just walked into something for the 4th time today and that's just the one thing. I've walked into plenty of other things too.  For the last week in fact I've been even more graceless than usual.  I seem to have lost all concept of when my body is.  I open doors onto my feet, I walk into doorposts, cupboards, shelves, anything. 

I actually just burst into tears like a five year old just now and mum had to hug better me coz I was just so sodding fed up of it.  It's not just painful, it's embarassing.  Luckily I haven't actually injured myself yet, just scrapes and knocks but it still hurts and it is bloody annoying and humiliating.  I just don't know what's happened to me!!!

She busted out the hospital yesterday.  We turned up for visiting and she was all dressed in the hope that it would encourage them to release her.  Luckily they did!!!  The dressings are all off too.  It's not as bad as I feared in the least.  She does look like a pirate has hald a cutlass to her throat but that's cool I think.  Should heal well looking at it.  She's convinced that it gapes, it doesn't, but it isn't quite as joined up in the centre as it is at the edges but it is my no means a big thing. 

On a totally different topic, now that I don't have to run up and down the A19 every day and can enjoy the garden, where the hell's my sun??????  It's not even that hot any more!!!!  Just a bit warm and cloudy.  Boo!!!!!

I say it's still a spoiler if you say what isn't happening.  I don't have a clue about anything, leaving what isn't happening utside of a cut is just as bad as saying what is happening to me!!!!!  So now I am a tiny bit spoiled and I hate that person with a firey wrath.  Bastard!!!!!!

I have now bottled and tasted my first elderflower cordial.  It is lovely!!!!!!  I wasn't sure I'd like it but I was bored and mum does so I decided to make it and I am very much liking it.  It's really refreshing and light.  Yay!!!  I now have three wine bottles of the stuff so plenty to go at.  I'm so proud!!

Both Robyn and I might be a tiny bit warped.  I like airplane food, she likes hospital food.  When they come to take away her plates she keep saying how delicious it was and they think she's completely crazy!!!

Well, tuns out that it was definitely cancer.  Obviously that was removed during surgery but it does now mean that there may well be more treatment in store and tests to see if there's anything else to be worrying about.  She was also having problems with calcium and was going all tingly but they're on top of that. 

I think that having confirmation has been quite hard on Robyn, she wasn't very happy today but tomorrow all of her uni friends are coming to see her so she'll enjoy that.  I think that in some ways this is good coz she skipped as stage as it were. She didn't get told "You have cancer and we have to operate" she beasically got told "It was cancer but we took it out"  but it's still a bit of a shock for her. Mum is still freaking.  I honestly don't know if I am just in some form of denial or just the mostsensible level headed person in this family or just a coldhearted bitch but I'm fine.   

I made her mini quiche and mini cupcakes today to cheer her up. Unfortunately the mini cupcakes got squished somehow and were just mini cupcake carnage when I opened the box.  I also managed to give myself the worst burn in the history of ever while getting the cupcakes out of the oven.  My right thumb slipped out of the oven glove and went straight on to the muffin tin.  I sizzled!!! I had it on ice for over an hour while trying to finish my cooking (it's harder than it looks, you try making mini quiche one handed!!) and it was still wicked painful so I went nextdoor to see Ez, who's a nurse, and she gave me a painkilling dressing for it, which worked a treat.  I can't type very well though so I keep making typos.  The whole pad of my thumb is all blistered and red, it's a doozy... still not as good as cancer though!!!!  She totally wins!!!

They took the dressing off hr neck today, it's rather cool, it looks like you can unzip her!!!  She's like a wonderful cross beteen a slitheen and an ood as she still has the drain in her neck to get rid of excess blood.  She's not green nor does she have tentacles though, which is a bit disappointing!!!  And on that crazy note, goodnight!!!

Robyn is quite the little trouper it turns out.  I was kind of expecting her to be a bit weepy and feeling sorry for herself but she's being delightful.  Even pumped full of drugs she's being nice and polite to everyone.  She'd only been back on the ward for an hour or so and was enquiring after her consultant's holiday!  Robyn can go either way when waking up, she's either a bratty 2 year old or a sleepy possum, luckily she came round cheerful and cute although she may have called a nurse a wanker when he woke her up. 

She has requested mini quiche and mini cupcakes tomorrow and so she shall have them.  I'm going to go see her at 6pm tomorrow and others are going at 3pm.  She's still sleepy and out of it, we left her this evening coz she was just falling asleep on us, but it breaks up the long boring hospital day to have visitors.  She's already managed to trash her table as much as she does her bedroom with crap everywhere, a book, chocolate, her water, earplugs, tissues etc. so I straightened everything up while I was there, I'm such a mum!!! 

I also made elderflower cordial today, which smells fantastic!!  Should have a tasting tomorrow and see if it tastes as good as it smells.  The houmous went down well with both mum and dad but the dog won't eat it... although he does like his chips with vinegar we discovered tonight as we got fish and chips on the way back from the hospital. 

Tomorrow I shall be cleaning the bathroom, baking and hospital visiting so I might try to get an early night.  I didn't have to get up at 5am like everyone else so I stayed up way too late reading Plum fanfic.  It's mostly crap but I enjoy it!!!  Got to catch up on TW though or it'll get away from me. 

She's had the surgery and is fine.  She was awake but sleepy and chatting happily when I went to see her.  She has a drain in her neck that makes her look a bit like an Ood coz it ends in a little round bag and I was very brave and managed not to freak out over the thingies in her hand.  All in all a good result.  We'll get actual results in about 10 days time and she should be discharged either Sunday or Monday.  We're going up at about 5:30pm to see her again and she should be slightly more awake than she was... either that or totally unconscious!!! 

I have had a cracking headache for two days.  It's only in my left temple but when the painkillers totally wear off it feels like every time my heart beats I am being punched in the face.  It throbs all over between my cheekbone and my hairline and it's mostly fine until I move.  If I move fast it comes back, painkilers or no painkillers.  I would like to reitterate that I am not good with pain!!!  Two fucking days!!!  I can't even open my eye it hurts so fucking much in the mornings!!! I actually thought I was having an anyurism or something when I woke with it yesterday morning.  Much more of this and I shall go mad!!!

Three and a half hours cover to cover, go speed reading Anna!!!!

( Me blathering on about Finger Lickin' Fifteen full of SPOILERS and me waffling on about the eternal Babe-v-Cupcake debate that is this fandom's Gwack-v-Janto. )

 

I have the new Janet Evanovich novel!!!!  I've got to have it read by Thursday morning so I think I'm in for a 6am bedtime tonight.  Yay!!!!!  I've been looking forward to this for months but if it's a Cupcake novel I shall scream!!!!  Babe all the way!!!!

Ok, starting to read now, bye!!!

The high point of dinner was that I came up with a dessert that dad actually enjoyed!!!!!!!!!  I found this ginger and chilli sauce in Tesco among the ice cream sauces and just knew it would be perfect for him.  I have been reliably informed that the last time he enjoyed a dessert so much was 1979. 

Dad never eats dessert, he doesn't like sweet things very much in general and a lot of dessert staples are ruled out by his pickiness.  Ginger is the one thing he likes and combinging that with chilli, genius!!!  Full points to Tesco for inventing it. 

Today was my parents' 30th wedding anniversary.  They spent the day in the lake district, where they spent their honeymoon.  I woke up this morning and thought "You know what? We should really do something to celebrate."  So I planned a menu, priced it up online, went to the supermarket and bought my carefully priced list of things, added a few extra bits, borrowed 50p from Robyn as I'd gone over budget, came home and cooked for several hours. 

The Menu:

Bruschetta and champagne pre-dinner nibbles
Prawn and herb skewers
Gnocchi with a creamy mushroom and spinach sauce with grilled chicken
Vanilla ice cream with raspberry syrup or ginger and chilli sauce. 

We'll be having gnocchi for lunch tomorrow... one packet isn't quite enough for 3, two packets is far too much for 4.  It's odd.  Bloody good value though.  Apart from the champagne and wine the whole lot cost £20. 

We sat out in the garden all evening, Robs had lit tealights everywhere and we all got a bit merry on champagne, wine and then Armanjac to follow.  It was a really nice evening and I'm so proud of myself for being able to throw together a multi course dinner without any trouble at all and almost no planning.  Everything was perfectly cooked and served on time without any huge lulls beteen courses.  Over all a great success. 

I also made hummous as I was waiting for Robyn before I could go to the supermarket.  It's just not as good as the stuff we used to eat at LS6... well, may be it'd be better with pita strips but I was just tasting on my finger so we'll see. Luckily dad likes hummous!!!

Tomorrow Robs and I are off to Leeds for more hospital jammies and returning things to Primark.  Yay Primark!!!

Either my heart has moved down to hang out with my appendix, I am having muscle spasms deep inside my abdomen or I have accidentally swallowed a frog while yawning... which is it most likely to be?

Just catching up on Top Gear as we had a bbq malfunction that delayed dinner.  The trainline in question is about 4 miles to the east of my house, the road is 1 mile to the west.  So at some point I was being passed by Top Gear presenters on all sides... well, I thought that was quite cool. 

Had a lovely few days in Lancaster, met all of Robs' friends and drank much vodka.  Ate nothing but takeout.  Good times. 

We were just playing in the garden with Frodo and invented a new game called "Jump the Anna"  It was going well to start with but you may now all call me Scarface as it eventually went horribly wrong and he landed on my face.  Luckily the skin isn't broken but there's a lovely red welt starting above my left eye and going down into my cheek.  Nice. 

There's a dog show in the next village tomorrow and we're thinking of entering him in the "waggiest tail" comptition.  He's shit at most things but he's got to be a champion tail wagger!!!

Can there please be a ruling on just which category Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum novels should be under.  Borders keep them in Crime, iTunes has them under Mystery, WH Smith usually has them in Fiction and somewhere else I've seen them as Romance.  I'd probably go with Crime or Fiction.  Mostly I just wish for the next week to pass quickly and let me have my hands on the new one!!!

Also I have been reading drunk!fic and appear to have become semi drunk by reading!!!  It helps that I am apparently going to be drunk at least 2 out of the next 3 nights. I'm going to visit Robyn at uni.  She has her last performance exam tomorrow and then drunkeness ensues!!!!!  Yay for the drunk!!!  So if you don't hear from me for the next few days, that's why.